{"id":11752,"date":"2026-04-06T08:47:57","date_gmt":"2026-04-06T12:47:57","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/cmubuggy.org\/news\/?p=11752"},"modified":"2026-04-06T08:59:55","modified_gmt":"2026-04-06T12:59:55","slug":"compubookie-2026","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cmubuggy.org\/news\/2026\/04\/compubookie-2026\/","title":{"rendered":"Compubookie 2026"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Editor\u2019s Note: Compubookie\u2019s predictions do not reflect the opinion of the BAA. Looking for better insight and analysis, including MechaJockey? You\u2019ll find them in the 2026 Raceday Preview, which you can get with your\u00a0membership<\/a>!<\/mark><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

What\u2019s up, Buggy fans. Welcome to the first taste of the softest, slowest, weakest pillow fight of a Raceday in recent memory. After last year\u2019s \u201crace\u201d was pushed a week past Carnival due to the wrath of Pittsburgh weather, you\u2019d think teams would be ready to go (or at least attempt to roll during Spring Break and Truck Weekend). Instead, top to bottom, the buggies are rolling as if they have their disappointed alumni\u2019s hopes and dreams dragging behind them through the chute. Practices seem to constantly come to a stop, hatches are falling off left and right, pushers are tripping and stumbling all over the course like Fergie in 2006, the Greeks spent more time practicing their picket lines than their hill transitions, and Sweepstakes has decided to coddle the teams by replacing most DQs with 6-second time penalties. Apparently, when they triple the number of people in charge, nobody is left with the spine to actually enforce the rules. I\u2019d hand out my own DQs for sheer mediocrity, but frankly, this field isn\u2019t even worth the paperwork.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fringe is desperately searching for new ways to stay relevant after losing their one claim to fame: a quarter-century of top three Design Comp finishes that vanished the moment they forced SDC to participate. To compensate, they mimicked their adversary\u2019s approach and spent the year building a massive wooden monstrosity on wheels that looks more like their lackluster booths than a buggy. In a damning indictment of Sweepstakes\u2019 bloated safety committee, this lumbering splinter-factory managed to pass capes. It\u2019s honestly a shame that the buggy wasn\u2019t allowed to race, because it would likely outroll half of their active fleet.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Not to be outdone in the bizarre side-quest department, Apex has decided to race with the robots after accepting that the All-Gender race is no longer the easy win it was years ago, and their podium hopes have been extinguished. When they can\u2019t out-push or out-build the human teams, surrendering to the singularity and rolling a Roomba is the only logical next step. Their new buggy, Kerosene (named after the multitude of times their mechanics have almost burned down Gesling Stadium), has a vibrant oil-slick paint job that spectators will get to admire for an extra long time as it dawdles through the chute turn.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It has become clear that over in the Greek quad, minimal effort is a way of life. SAE made it out for the first time two weeks before raceday, with most assuming that their chapter had been kicked off campus again. SigNu also didn\u2019t make it to the course until recently because, unsurprisingly, members of the Zoo have a serious lack of game and are incapable of recruiting a female driver. Right now, their only real sign of life is their alumni clogging up Discord chats.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

PiKA has spent years flirting with organizational collapse, and there are no signs of that changing anytime soon. To kick off the year, they handed the leadership reins to a Freshman whose family history on the course is already a safety hazard. To spike their aging alumni base\u2019s cortisol even more, the brothers have found new \u2018safety liaisons\u2019 to lubricate their operations both on and off the course. Still stuck with only their biggest, slowest tank of a buggy that is now old enough to drive itself to the starting line, the brothers have resorted to pulling another rusty buggy out of an alumnus\u2019 garage, and even then, they haven\u2019t managed to restore it to a rollable state. It\u2019s the exact kind of low-effort disarray that we\u2019ve come to expect from the S.L.A.G.s.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Spirit and SigNu were the only teams to vote against the new 6-second penalty rules, entirely because their only path to a trophy relies on the good teams getting DQed. Spirit continues their tendency to do ballet in the chute whenever they go fast, and there are no signs of stopping. They might be the two-time defending champions of the People\u2019s Choice Award, but their people clearly don’t care about making it to the finish line.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Delta Gamma has finally graduated from Fringe\u2019s dumpster, rolling out a new build that they claim is pretty quick: shocking, coming from a team whose mascot is literally designed to sink. That\u2019s an impressive feat, but they also special-ordered glamorous, glittery pink wheels that don\u2019t fit in either of their buggies. It\u2019s exactly what you would expect from DG: they finally have a buggy that can compete, they just can\u2019t figure out how to put the shoes on without a matching handbag.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

SigEp has firmly established themselves as contenders, though it\u2019s a shame that their sportsmanship, ability to follow rules, and basic moral fiber haven\u2019t kept pace. After years of irrelevance, incompetence, and DQing half or more of their entries, they finally found some speed. However, that speed doesn\u2019t mean anything when they drive off their whole women\u2019s team and get DQ\u2019d for having a few confused brothers run alongside their pusher. Maybe they should review the rules before Raceday instead of throwing a house-wide temper tantrum after they get caught pacing half a dozen times in a single heat. What about this rule is so hard to follow? Just do what SigNu does and don\u2019t have anyone show up to support the team. This way, there is nobody to pace with their pushers. We\u2019ll see if SigEp\u2019s strategy will continue to be holding their driver\u2019s hand through the entire course, because apparently, following the rules is a bridge too far for their collective IQ.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

CIA looks less like a defending champion and more like a Berlin U-Bahn trainwreck. For a team that usually follows a yearly build cycle like a religious obligation, the silence coming from their shop is deafening. With no new buggy, no decent pusher in sight, and freeroll times consistently slower than Apex, it\u2019s no wonder that half their freshman class is quitting the team to go somewhere else. The only \u201cInvolvement\u201d left in CIA comes from a group of alumni who, in a blatant violation of the rules, spend the days before Raceday clogging up the basement of a freshman dormitory surrounded by flammable chemicals and ball bearings like they\u2019re back in the 70s. One has to wonder if Sweepstakes will finally find the gumption to disqualify them for this illegal meddling, because, fortunately for CIA, a little bit of cheating might be all it takes for them to keep up with the competition this year.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

SDC used to be the most hated, secretive, and genuinely mean team on the course, and I almost miss it. They\u2019ve become the very thing they used to hate: a bloated, bureaucratic mess that cares more about preaching safety than rolling fast, which is hilariously hypocritical when they consistently crash their buggies more than any other team. They even offer to publicize their supposedly superior safety technology, which is rich considering they \u201cforgot\u201d to bring their steering to last year\u2019s Design Comp. Now, they\u2019re struggling to finish a new build and are rolling on dated wheels that are worse than the rest of the field. While their fastest two buggies are still setting the pace, that advantage is as water-soluble as their egos.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And that, Buggy fans, is your definitive look at Raceday 2026. It may be a slow year, but it\u2019ll likely be a close one. AEPi and Atlas are likely gone for good, the All-Gender course record is still slower than the Women\u2019s course record, and I need a drink. I can\u2019t wait to see this year\u2019s races, but you\u2019ll never meet me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Men’s:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \n
  1. SDC A<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  2. SigEp B<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  3. CIA A<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  4. SDC B<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  5. CIA B<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  6. PiKA A<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  7. “Honorable” Mention: SigEp A (pacing: 24 second penalty, unsportsmanlike conduct: DQ)<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n

    Women’s:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

      \n
    1. CIA A<\/li>\n\n\n\n
    2. SDC A<\/li>\n\n\n\n
    3. CIA B<\/li>\n\n\n\n
    4. SDC B<\/li>\n\n\n\n
    5. DG A<\/li>\n\n\n\n
    6. CIA C<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n

      All-Gender<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

        \n
      1. SigEp\u2019s pacers, winning the race unintentionally.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
      2. The circumcised remains of Starling\u2019s pushbar.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
      3. SAE, apparently?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
      4. Bractor, fueled by unadulterated hubris and a complete disregard for the laws of physics.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
      5. A 1988 Spirit alumnus, who still thinks he can run a 14-second H5 if he had the right orthopedic inserts.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
      6. Road rash, the must-have accessory for this year\u2019s pushers.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n

        The Field<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

        Apex –<\/strong> \u201cI\u2019m not like other girls\u201d isn\u2019t a buggy award
        CIA –<\/strong> The dog that caught the car realized it doesn\u2019t know how to drive
        DG –<\/strong> They\u2019re called brakes, not breaks
        Fringe –<\/strong> Locally sourced, artisanal, and 100% organic failure
        PiKA –<\/strong> You\u2019d go faster if your pushers didn\u2019t show up wearing your driver\u2019s clothes
        SAE –<\/strong> Wait a minute\u2026 who are you?
        SDC –<\/strong> The only thing more intimidating than your pushers is a light drizzle
        SigEp –<\/strong> The rules are easy to follow if you\u2019d just learn how to read!
        SigNu –<\/strong> Too bad your alumni can\u2019t build pushers and drivers for you
        Spirit –<\/strong> At least your T-shirts look nice?
        Robobuggy –<\/strong> Error 404: competition detected; initiating emergency shutdown
        Sweepstakes –<\/strong> Too many cooks in the kitchen<\/p>\n\n\n\n

        <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

        Editor\u2019s Note: Compubookie\u2019s predictions do not reflect the opinion of the BAA. Looking for better insight and analysis, including MechaJockey? You\u2019ll find them in the 2026 Raceday Preview, which you can get with your\u00a0membership!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":29,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[55,40],"class_list":["post-11752","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-general-interest-buggy-stuff","tag-compubookie","tag-predictions"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/cmubuggy.org\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11752","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/cmubuggy.org\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/cmubuggy.org\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cmubuggy.org\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/29"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cmubuggy.org\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=11752"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/cmubuggy.org\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11752\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":11754,"href":"https:\/\/cmubuggy.org\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11752\/revisions\/11754"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/cmubuggy.org\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=11752"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cmubuggy.org\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=11752"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cmubuggy.org\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=11752"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}