Editor’s Note: Compubookie’s predictions do not reflect the opinion of the BAA. Looking for better insight and analysis, including MechaJockey? You’ll find them in the 2025 Raceday Preview, which you can get with your membership!
Greetings, Buggy fans. I had a vision of a Raceday, but not a good one. If the rottenness of the weather takes its evil elsewhere, you’ll all get to see it in person. The teams have had so little time to practice that it’s clear we cannot expect high speeds. The Greeks in particular made the brilliant decision to sit out the fall, banking all their race preparation on four miserable days of spring rolls. For the likes of SigNu and SAE, this is the usual plan, and it will not affect their rote march to an underwhelming time. The mirror to this is Fringe, who have gotten plenty of practice and built a decent new buggy, but still show up to slow ride. DG is rumored to have built their own riff on a classic Fringe B-name, but supposedly some super secret probation was used as an excuse to hide it from the world. They’re lucky Insite performs well and that they can attract strong pushers, but they lack the organization to make any accomplishments of note. Speaking of new buggies that won’t see the light of day, SAE’s got one that goes squish, so it’s a Scratch.
Apex is giving us a Pioneers throwback with a reused name and a pushbar of dubious quality. They’re not sick, but they’re not well, and their preference for “hot” names is self-explanatory. In a field full of poor engineering decisions, they manage to scrape the depths. Their windscreen placement continues to test the “windsock” approach to vehicle aerodynamics, so it’s no wonder they have the slowest freerolls. Since they’ve run out of KDR’s old wheels, don’t expect any improvement.
Moving on from the vast bottom of the field, we find in the middle lonely PiKA. It took them an entire semester to find someone willing to drive for them. They’re only rolling their 14-year-old proof-of-concept buggy because the ones they raced for the last 10 years never actually met modern safety standards. This year, they made the smart move to go back to what their frat does best, and started copying other successful teams again. Inexplicably, though, they plan to pull a Beta and treat their wheels for the first time at Raceday, which never ends well. Look for their lack of practice at speed and poor judgment to result in a big skid, saved only by driver talent and luck.
Spirit is ever the wildcard. Their push teams are greatly improved, but they were regularly shafted at rolls. They are the only team to not get a roll at the last day of truck weekend, and the only one to not cheat the system and double up the weekend before. They’re always liable to spin out, and their A-team buggy is drinking age now, so don’t be surprised if the mechanical failures start. Still, if they make the best of what they have, they are a real contender. Also looking competitive is SigEp, who repaired ‘cuda and are proving that it’s just as fast as it used to be. Plus their push teams are the strongest on the course. Their B and C team will get their usual DQs, but their A team is regularly one of the safest bets to make it through the chute if they keep all their wheels on. Expect a strong performance, and a long overdue visit to the top of the podium.
Perennial villain SDC has plenty of potential to squander. Their mechanics are disorganized, leaving their horde of fast pushers and experienced drivers with suspiciously poor rollouts. Their brakes are somehow both not good enough and too good. They’re the first team in ages to waste time building two buggies in a year, with enormous wooden Gluttony burning a pointless hole in their alumni’s pockets. They still think everybody’s coming to get them, with their other build’s name leaning into their most annoying quality. Their women are in their own class, but the men’s races are too tough for them to run away with a win.
CIA’s newest buggy, whose name is an apt nod to an unsavory satellite internet company given their unscrupulous use of finances, is a clone of their prior build. Unfortunately for them, their mechanics lack the confidence to inspire fast pushers to join the team, so they are not going to repeat last year’s performance. Expect their greatest accomplishment of the year to be not getting run over by the Pittsburgh police.
And that, Buggy fans, is your definitive look at Raceday 2025. It will be a tight and exciting competition this year, so if you’re bored then you’re boring. I can’t wait to see this year’s races, but you’ll never meet me.
Men’s:
- SigEp A
- SDC A
- CIA A
- SDC B
- Spirit A
- PiKA A
Women’s:
- SDC A
- CIA A
- Spirit A
- SDC B
- CIA B
- SigNu A
All-Gender
- PiKA Men’s B, ruining the fun
- Loading into a buggy as a Juno position
- Gluttony, filled with chairmen like a clown car
- The safety chair, piloting a 12” PVC tube BUG-gy
- Several police cruisers, Attempting to Crush Any Buggy
Procrustean gender norms, driven by lead-poisoned boomers (DQ – BS) - AEPi, once again asking for a driver
The Field
Apex – Nadir
CIA – The dog that caught the car
DG – Too busy doing the “Hand Jive” to place
Fringe – Firmly relegated to the t-shirt competition
PiKA – Mid
SAE – Too bad the kiwis don’t make shells, too
SDC – Strife be with you
SigEp – Solid monopoly on the competitive fraternity team niche
SigNu – You would smoke the competition if any of you could run
Spirit – Your biggest talent has always been A-team DQs
Robobuggy – Your buggy is the perfect prison for MechaJockey
Atlas – Still chasing the elusive 5-minute barrier