Posted on | by ben

Sorry this is so late, PiKA took me fishing and left me at the lake:

Carnival weekend. What a great time for students to relax from school work, sleep more than 4 hours a night, and celebrate Beta finally being gone from campus. This year’s buggy competition could be the most exciting yet, having the chute finally paved for the first time since the school took the word Tech out of its name. Many teams look to break SDC’s record time. Will anyone finish in under 2 minutes? Will the buggy be just beyond reach at the end of hill 5? Will SDC win again? Let’s look into it.

Starting off with the shake up everyone 100% saw coming. Looks like CMU finally caught on to the problem they have with substance consumption, and due to disciplinary action, PiKA will not be racing this year (kind of). But no! Without PiKA who will be there to vomit in Maggie Mo? Introducing the Fishing Team. They have acquired PiKA’s buggies and drivers, however, their push team can not consist of 5 brothers of Pi Kappa Alpha, so expect them to be recruiting around campus, which may actually make them faster–which they desperately need if they want to win.

WHAT HAS SPIRIT BEEN DOING IN THE OFFSEASON?? Spirit came from being only slightly a contender last year to the org many think could be a frontrunner in 2016. Revamped with a pretty new push team, a new buggy, and all around new culture, their roll ups are better than ever, expect them to leave their mark on raceday. Rumor is they stole the key to SDC’s buggy room.

Looks like racing has become uncool if your name starts with Sigma. SAE, Sig Ep, and Sig Nu have had poor attendance this year at rolls. I don’t think we’ll actually know if they’re any good until raceday. After Sig Ep’s strong performance last year, it’s a shame that the brothers care more about underwhelming Greek Sing shows than buggy.

Sorry, I know why you’re all here, let’s get to the predictions:

Men: Expect a bit of a shake up from Spirit, and more of the same elsewhere. PiKA The Fishing Team, will now have last pick of lane, and this could hurt their overall performance. SDC and CIA remain staunch contenders, with Fringe as a second tier team hoping their raceday performance can shock some people.

  1. Spirit A

  2. SDC A

  3. Fishing A

  4. CIA A

  5. SDC B

  6. Fringe A

  7. Spirt B

  8. Sig Ep A

  9. CIA B

  10. Apex A

Women: Expect more of the same as previous years here, SDC will remain dominant, Spirit with increased buggy speed could create a scare. CIA and Fringe have solid push teams.

  1. SDC A

  2. CIA A

  3. Spirit A

  4. Fish  A

  5. Fringe A

The Field

AEPi: THEY ARE THE BEST. At getting last place.

Apex: Football players for pushers? Won’t make your buggy any faster

CIA: SDC’s little sister, maybe you can hold their trophy?

Fishing Team: Maybe under a different name they’ll catch the push bar

Fringe: What else can we steal from PiKA without being too obvious?

Phi Delt: You should race against the robo buggy, it’d be close

PiKA: They’ll be in same same place they were on day 2 last year, exhibitions

SAE: Who are you? You’ve never been to rolls before

SDC: Your push team is as bad as the campus events you hold

Sig Ep: I heard you couldn’t find a driver, the fraternity was too focused on guys

Sig Nu: Is the one new pledge you got going to help on raceday?

Spirit: It took a girl to get you boys in line? s/o Hope

7 thoughts on “Compubookie 2016, later than ever…”

  • Obvious Spirit Alum is Obvious says:

    “1. Spirit A”

    You’d like to think that, wouldn’t you?

    Jokes are on point. Predictions are almost as far off as your team’s glory days.

    • Obvious Spirit Alum is Obvious says:

      Actual

      MEN

      1. SDC A (+1)

      2. SDC B (+3)

      3. CIA A (+1)

      4. Fringe A (+2)

      5. CIA B (+4)

      6. SDC C (+ >= 5)

      7. Fringe C (+ >= 4)

      DNF SigEp B (- >= 3)

      DQ Spirit A (- >= 10)

      DQ Apex A (- >= 1)

      WOMEN

      1. CIA A (+1)

      2. Fringe A (+3)

      3. Spirit A (on the mark!)

      4. SDC B (+ >= 2)

      5. Fish A (-1)

      DQ SDC A (- >= 5)

      Pretty weaksauce, as expected. Get an alum without dementia to do this next time.

      • Sorry PiKA says:

        While I agree that it was egregious to think Spirit would beat SDC, without the DQs Spirit and Fishing A teams both finish top 5, pushing back the other teams. Also in Women’s SDC would have been first if they didn’t pull a Pika. The predictions I guess assume everyone races to their maximum potential? Hopefully they use a different “computer” next year!

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