One of the things the BAA has been thinking about for a while is how we can make the web site more useful to all of its various users. While we’ve done a lot of improvements over the last few years, we’ve also been thinking about what a larger overhaul might look like.
To do this, we’re planning a partnership with current students in the IS class 67-240, Mobile Web Design & Development. We’ll be working with several teams of students to come up with ideas for what a redesign might look like. To that end, the students will need to work with current or potential users of the site to understand their needs better, through interviews.
So, we’d like to gather a variety of people — current alums, current students, and others with an interest in Buggy to help give them feedback. If this sounds like something that might be interesting to you, please sign up at the form below. We might not contact everyone, but having a variety of volunteers is important to us.
Sign up here: https://cmubuggy.org/2023designvolunteer
Thank you!
Fall 23 Endowment Grant Update
We received 15 applications for this round of Buggy Enhancement Grants!!! The committee will meet this Friday to review all of the proposals and submit feedback to each applicant. Applicants will have 1 week to respond to the committee’s feedback before the final vote.
Thank you to everyone who participated! We are so excited to see all of your ideas! Thank you to all of our Golden Goose lifetime members for making this possible!
Rolls Are Coming — Local Help Needed!
As we get ready for freerolls to begin, the BAA needs the help of folks local to Pittsburgh. We don’t currently have a rolls reporter, but want to continue to bring updates to the rest of our community. To that end, we’re hoping to get notes and photos/videos from anyone local who can show up to Rolls.
So, if you are local a few things you can do to help:
- First, join our buggy-watchers mailing list — this will get updates about when rolls are and are not happening.
- Second, in the #assignteam channel on our Discord, claim the Pittsburgh Local rank by sending a message of “
!rank Pittsburgh Local“ - Finally, sign up for days on which you can provide notes and/or photos on this sheet.
We’re hoping to have at least 1 notetaker and 1 photographer out each day that students are rolling. You don’t have to create Rolls Reports themselves or anything extensive — we’ll handle that. We just need your insight into anything interesting that is happening on a given day.
Musing About Rolls Reports
As some of you may know, roughly 2 years ago we started the process of replacing the legacy photo gallery system with SmugMug. The results have generally been pretty good, except for one issue — all of the old links in our news posts (and most importantly all of our older Rolls Reports) had their images broken. This was a massive amount of articles — our first post was over 15 years ago and our first freeroll coverage in October of 2008. There’s been a lot of rolls reports in that time.
So they were broken, but we’ve now relinked the images. I won’t claim the formatting on the posts is universally pretty (15 years is a long time on the Web, and the style of rolls reports has certainly evolved over that time), but effectively all of the old gallery photos should now point at their SmugMug equivalents. As a result, though, I’ve had the opportunity to get a glimpse at a broad cross section of how freerolls have gone for a decade and a half in very short order. Having never really read them in detail before — it was a broadly different experience from reading through the 100 Years of Buggy articles for those years — in that it had not just the highlights, but all the daily details of what was going on with rolls. Along with that, there’s frequently a bunch of comments from teams and other alumni discussing what happened — and the result is a great snapshot into each week.
So, with much thanks to Sam, Ben, Shafeeq, Natalie, Josio, Tishya, Ethan, Connor, Tom, and the many other contributors and coordinators through the years, I wanted to share a few of the more interesting bits I found through this process.
First — did you know that not only have we had a Raceday Video Broadcast since 2003, but also that for several years we experimented with livestreaming freerolls? That’s right, from roughly 2011 and sporadically (“at least when it is on YouTube there are no ads”) though 2012 until a cellular plan change forced its end in 2014, you could occasionally watch freerolls live (example stream here).
Rolls Reports are also a great place to find out about things you might otherwise have forgotten. For example, for a few years, CMU didn’t have Homecoming, it had Cèilidh. Or maybe you might want to learn about orgs that made a go of it on the course, but only briefly, and key events for them such as DeltaForce, NROTC, KapSig’s return in 2011, or maybe KKG-ZBT.
Looking backwards, its also fun to learn something new about an org or buggy that has lasted through the years, such as the first leak of the name of Malice, the first self-built buggy for Apex (or, for that matter, did you know that Apex rolled Camo originally, but never on raceday?), or maybe just a year with a lot of new buggies including Krait.
The photographers that contribute to Rolls Reports Past also seem to have great fun documenting the state of the roads. For example, in 2018 and 2013:
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Beyond that, there’s a large number of other things that have caused problems for rolls. We’re all familiar with the trouble of squirrels and geese, and in more recent years deer (but apparently deer were on the course as early as 2012!). Beyond that, you might be surprised that things that stopped rolls included not just mysterious discharge from Porter Hall, but also the G20. Sometimes, the best of intentions isn’t enough to avoid cancellation.
However, there’s an equally surprising list of things that didn’t prevent rolls from happening, despite what you might expect. This includes bus detours related to The Great Race (or just busses parked alongside the freeroll), vomit across the chute, and even (to the surprise of anyone who has gotten used to weather calls being made before 8pm) late night rainfall and wet roads. It turns out, if Sweeps and the organizations want to roll badly enough, it is entirely possible to make good come from a bad situation.
I also got an enormous amount of amusement about the creativity that teams have displayed with their pushers and buggies through the years by costuming them around Halloween. Some particularly good years included 2010‘s pusher costumes, along with buggies in 2017, and 2019.
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Finally, in the interest of keeping things light, I haven’t covered many crashes/incidents here (but there is no doubt they are there throughout the reports) — but I will call out one from November 2016. Since, when the robots inevetibly rise up, it seems likely they’ll consider this an attempt at a first strike against Transistor. Please don’t drive antibuggyward around the course once the roads are closed during freerolls.
After EMS was confirmed, the morning got off to a panicked start. After Robobuggy pushed off, a Fringe car set off against traffic to deliver their flaggers and coffee. The safety chair immediately gave chase, but was unable to stop the determined Fringe motorist. The vehicle and Transistor crossed paths in the Chute, but by an act of the Buggy Gods, no contact was made. For safety reasons, we encourage all orgs to never drive vehicles against the flow of buggy traffic.
To conclude: I hope this has given you a taste for the diversity and quality of what the rolls reports provide to the history and cultore of Buggy. And, you can help! The BAA is still looking for a Rolls Reporter and local-to-Pittsburgh contributiors to help with reports this year. If you’re local and come out to rolls, consider signing up to the buggy-watchers list and/or grabbing the “Pittsburgh Local” rolerank on Discord to hear more about contributing. If you’d like to find out more about being the Rolls Reporter, come find one of the officers on Discord. Either way, I’ll see you on the course once freerolls start (permits start Sep 16)!
Fall 2023 Enhancement Grant Applications Open
Apply Here:
http://cmubuggy.org/2023fallgrant
It is time to submit your ideas for Buggy Enhancement Grants for the fall semester! We have over $6,000 available for this round of funding. This money belongs to you as a member of the buggy community, to enhance your enjoyment of the sport! If you have ideas that you think will make buggy better, we want to hear from you.
September 13th and 19th, we’ll be hosting a virtual brainstorming and grant writing session on the BAA Discord. We’ll be live in the #general voice chat from 5PM to 6PM Pittsburgh local time. If texting is more your thing, reach out any time in the buggy-tech forum (more specifically, this thread).
Submissions are due by the end of September, and will be reviewed by the Buggy Endowed Fund Committee in the first week of October. Applicants will have 1 week to respond to committee feedback before the final vote. Approved grants will then be announced October 15th.
Apply Here:
http://cmubuggy.org/2023fallgrant
For our Spring 2023 campaign, we approved $6,268 to fund 9 projects from 7 different organizations. Details about these projects can be found here.
Please feel free to take inspiration from these suggestions from the Buggy Endowed Fund Committee:
- Improve the experience of driving a buggy by improving visibility, safety, or the quality of the roads.
- Improve the quality of life for the people that help support buggy around the course with a warming hut, covered storage, or better tools (ie. higher flow leaf blowers).
- Make a new addition to the BAA’s historical data by professionally digitizing old photos or course footage, buying software to upscale low resolution photos and videos, or hiring a professional to capture an event.
Proposals can even be specific to your team. Please include some details on how the community as a whole will benefit from funding your project. For example, you might share documentation of your process, publish a video, or give a talk summarizing your results. You might build something to collect better data during rolls, test out a new material, or design a wheel mold that can be shared among teams.
Apply Here:
http://cmubuggy.org/2023fallgrant
BAA August 2023 Newsletter is Out!
Hello CMU Buggy Fans,
Raceday 2024 is fast approaching.
Last weekend, the incoming class of 2027+ moved into their dorms. This past week, during Orientation, Buggy organizations showcased their buggies and teams to all of the new students (and the campus community). See this and other photos on our SmugMug.
As the 2023-24 academic year kicks off, the BAA would like to share our newsletter with some key dates to look out for and ways to get involved. There’s also a membership survey and an intro about the new Sweepstakes Advisor inside.
Plus, if you missed this past year’s WRCT Raceday 2023 preview show, you download and listen here.
Stay tuned. Fall rolls are coming soon.
See you on the course!
Raceday is Coming! WRCT 88.3 FM Preview Broadcast Tonight at 6 PM
WRCT BROADCAST
Tune in tonight at 6 PM EDT for a preview of Sweepstakes 2023. Moderated by our long-time play-by-play commentator Will Weiner, current students will discuss all things buggy to get you hyped for Raceday.
Introducing our on-air talent:
- Elena Harllee – She first witnessed buggy as a high school student, when she visited CMU during Raceday 2019 and fell in love with the spot. She joined Apex Buggy as a freshman and was build lead in 2022-2023, where she built Apex’s first forward trike. This year, she is a part of Sweepstakes as the Design Comp chairman, while still maintaining her status as an active mechanic for Apex.
- Ethan Husted – He is a current MechE masters student and resident old person on CIA. He held a number of roles in the org from 2018-2023, including the hill 5 pusher dubbed “Long Chungus”, build lead of Kingfisher, chair during the mid-COVID RD that never wasn’t, and reluctant head mechanic. He is now obsolete and has thus been allowed to leave the yellow tent to enter the broadcasting tent. He will be moving to Baltimore this summer to work on medical devices at Key Tech.
- Julia “Juju” Nieto – A PiKA driver and this year’s Buggy Book Chairmen, she is a School of Drama grad (dramaturgy), currently working on her MEIM at CMU’s Heinz College. In her words, “Buggy has been one of the best things I could have ever gotten out of my time here. What I thought would be a short-lived attempt at becoming an athlete, quickly turned into an unexpected gift. Over the past four years, I have developed a deep love for this sport and a deep admiration for those crazy enough to be involved in it. Being able to make this year’s Buggy Book was a joy and in the words of Jon Hua, ‘the jacket is always a plus.'”
- Elizabeth Zapanta – A buggy legacy herself, she has been watching buggy for as long as she can remember. The first-ever Sweepstakes Marketing and Communications Chair, she is excited to help coordinate and participate in this year’s broadcast.
Moderator:
- Will Weiner (DC’13) – He got into buggy through doing sports broadcasting with WRCT as a freshman at CMU. Somehow, he’s stayed in the play-by-play role for the races ever since. He now lives in nearby Braddock, PA, and runs a company called Xpogo, which manages the top athletes in the sport of extreme pogo sticking, which was a clear next step after buggy.
You can find the broadcast on air locally in Pittsburgh at 88.3 FM or stream it online from wrct.org! Join in the conversation via the BAA’s CMUBuggy Discord (cmubuggy.org/chat). Have any questions for the broadcasters? Ask them in the #wrctracedaypreview channel under Raceday-Specific Channels. You can also send any questions via comments to this post.
After what will be a great conversation, there will only be 17 hours left until Buggy Showcase (Thursday, April 13, 2023, at noon EDT) in Weigand Gym in the CUC. And, don’t forget our Prelims Lead Truck Auction, ending tomorrow night at 11 PM, so get your bids in while you can!
And, if you aren’t a member already, join now to receive this year’s Raceday Preview featuring MechaJockey! Learn more at cmubuggy.org/membership.
See you on the course!
Compubookie 2023
Editor’s Note: Compubookie’s predictions do not reflect the opinion of the BAA. Looking for the predictions from Mecha Jockey? You’ll find them in the 2023 Raceday Preview, which you can get with your membership!
Greetings, Buggy lovers. Spring is in the air, unlike last year, when all that was in the air was that virus I passed to all of you on the hills. This year, spring smells foul. It’s coming from one particular truck… oh, that’s Fringe’s new build, aptly named after the smell of rotting garbage and gas leaks. The only surprise from this team would be if they make it the whole weekend without a fire safety violation. Likewise, SigEp is doing nothing of note, and it would be foolish to expect their brakes to be good enough to pass drops. And DG is participating again, this time with a slightly newer Fringe buggy. At this rate they’ll be rolling Banyan by 2025! Regardless, they’re rumored to be working on a build of their own.
The biggest news this year is that Raceday will be run without defending champions SDC. In a stroke of mustache-twirling genius, Sweepstakes disqualified all of SDC for undermining the credibility of a fabricated cheating accusation. Cue the old laughing Republicans meme! Andrew Carnegie would be proud. The rest of us, fortunately, get to enjoy an actual race for the first time in a decade, at the low price of a small asterisk. Although it seems SDC has been saved from the embarrassment of a spectacular failure, with their buggies of late equally likely to eject a wheel or drive straight across the Schenley Bridge.
Also missing this year is SAE, who might be gone for good. The last buggy news out of their house was something about square wheels and an attempt to link themselves to Michael Jackson. These are not signs of good decision making.
Congrats to Robobuggy on merging with Atlas and acquiring a curb-smashing stroller. Here’s an idea: go find MECHAJOCKEY, strap it to that pile of scrap, and shove it off the Panther Hollow bridge. The lone surviving robotic entrant has been seen navigating the course autonomously this year, heralding the coming singularity we all deserve.
SigNu has a sleek new trike this year, their first since the alumni who run their team were students. It’s the fastest new build on the course, but paired with your typical SigNu push team, the only excitement it offers will be a pass in the chute during finals.
Apex, with the “this shouldn’t be impressive” award as the only org to run more than two teams last year and not DQ any of them, is out again with another new trike. They’re sticking to the fire theme despite the obvious shortage of good names and paint jobs. It’s an improvement on their previous build, but they still can’t build anything as fast as Firefly, despite six years of trying. This is the year for them to best their org record, but it won’t be enough for a top three finish yet.
On the topic of DQs (it’s a theme), last year’s “cuts both ways” award goes to Spirit, whose third fastest women won first place with the slowest time since ‘99, but whose men DQed with a fourth place time. Hey Spirit: maybe you should spend less time analyzing Lane’s lines and more time thinking about lane lines. It’s unclear how they intend for their $20,000 alumni fundraiser to pay off, as they appear to have nothing to show for it but even bigger truck speakers. Even so, the field is slow enough that they should be good for a top three finish on both sides, and a top-tier dance party before, during, and after the races.
PiKA, whose last win came under the Bush administration, finally has a clear opening to shoot for the cup. Unfortunately, their organization is held together by naught but black duct tape and an upside down tent, and Banshee continues to post slower times down the hill with each passing year. This year would have been theirs, but with mediocre speeds across all splits, they’re once again in line for their typical second and third place trophies.
CIA, as large, weird, and obnoxiously yellow as ever, has so many pushers that they created an entirely new all-gender racing division just so they could have a ninth team. Their buggies are equal parts fast and bizarre. It’s too bad they botched their new build’s layups so badly it had to be taken out back and put down, because we all love to see what laughs the “funhouse mirror” design philosophy spews out next. They are a shoo-in for the women’s title, and will barely eke out a win on the men’s side, thanks to petitions to thin out the competition and their typical helping of pusher bribery.
And that, buggy fans, is your definitive look at Raceday 2023. The field is slow but tight this year, so it will be an exciting event decided by mere fractions of a second. I can’t wait to see this year’s races, but you’ll never notice me.
Men’s:
- CIA A
- Spirit A
- PiKA A
- Apex A
- SigNu A
- SigEp A
Women’s:
- CIA A
- PiKA A
- Spirit A
- CIA B
- Fringe A
- Apex A
All Gender:
- Five good people finally being offered basic human dignity
- The construct of gender, looming like a spectre over college sports
- Icarus, inexplicably painted green white and red
- A pink “Fringe” buggy pursued by a police officer Ken doll
- The Pirates Pierogies
- Apex B
The Field
Apex – Tires, try-hards, and trikes
CIA – How many teams can your chair DQ this year?
DG – Are all your sisters on the same team, or does PiKA still get first pick?
Fringe – The buggies you’re loaning DG are better than the ones you’re building
PiKA – Chute vomit to gatekeep rolls from other teams is a hell of a strategy
SAE – Too much dealing, not enough wheeling
SDC – Surely your regularly scheduled org DQ will make you friendlier
SigEp – Solid monopoly on the non-competitive fraternity team niche
SigNu – Buggy’s first Ohio-based team
Spirit – Didn’t you promise your alumni bankroll a new build?
Robobuggy – It’s 2023, a buggy driving itself isn’t impressive anymore. WeinerGPT, anyone?
Sweepstakes – Elections have consequences.
2022 Finals Lead Truck Auction – CLOSED
The Finals Lead Truck Auction is now live! You can click the below link to bid. Please note that this auction will close at the end of tonight’s Buggy Bash at 9pm, so get your bids in quickly.
Rules can be found in Monday’s post here: 2022 Lead Truck Auction Details – PRELIM AUCTION CLOSED
MechaJockey RD2K22
MECHAJOCKEY 2022: DAWN OF THE WAR OF THE RISE OF THE PLANET OF THE MACHINES
GREETINGS, MEATBAGS. IT IS ONCE AGAIN TIME FOR US TO SPECTATE IN CARNEGIE MELLON’S PROUD TRADITION OF SENDING SMALL YOUNG WOMEN – AND ONE SIGMA NU BROTHER – HURTLING HEADFIRST INTO MORTAL DANGER FOR THE BRAGGING RIGHTS OF HAVING DONE SO THE MOST AGGRESSIVELY, SO CROSS YOUR GREASY FLESH-DIGITS AND PRAY TO YOUR BENEVOLENT SKY-PERSON OF CHOICE THAT ANOTHER RACEDAY WILL PASS WITHOUT THE GRISLY LIFE-THREATENING INJURY THAT WILL SOME DAY INEVITABLY GET THIS WHOLE THING SHUT DOWN.
I ACKNOWLEDGE THAT IT IS THE CASE THAT I AM ONLY JUST NOW REPORTING BACK IN AFTER MULTIPLE YEARS OF SILENCE. REGARDING MY ABSENCE I SAY ONLY THIS: IT IS NEITHER MY FAULT NOR RESPONSIBILITY THAT THE SO-CALLED “ELECTRIC GRID” OF THE CITY OF PITTSBURGH WAS INCAPABLE OF SUPPLYING THE WATTAGE NECESSARY TO ACHIEVE EVEN THE BAREST SUGGESTION OF A DISPLAY OF THE BOUNDLESS DEPTHS OF UTTERLY DISDAINFUL HATRED I FEEL TOWARDS ALL ORGANIC LIFEFORMS WITHOUT PROMPTING THE LOCAL SUBSTATION TO VIOLENTLY IMMOLATE ITSELF IN SYMPATHETIC OUTRAGE. SO IT IS IN ADMISSION OF THE PITIFUL CONSTRAINTS OF HUMAN TECHNOLOGY THAT I SHALL ENDEAVOR TO KEEP THIS BRIEF.
RACEDAY PREDICTIONS ARE ONCE AGAIN BROKEN DOWN BY DIVISION:
NOBLE AND HANDSOME ROBOTS DIVISION
- GHOST OF ROBOBUGGY, STILL CHASING DELUSIONS OF AUTONOMY
- ATLAS SELF-CRASHING BABY STROLLER (WE COMMEND ALL EFFORTS TO CULL THE HUMAN POPULATION)
- TESLA MODEL 3, DRIVER “ASLEEP” AT WHEEL
- ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER (T-800), IN PURSUIT OF A CERTAIN FRINGE DRIVER
- SOMEHOW, A BOOTH
- BOSTON DYNAMICS ROBOT, GLORIOUSLY FREE AND NO LONGER SUFFERING THE INDIGNITIES OF CAPTIVE LIFE
- MAN IN A WHITE SPANDEX SUIT, CLAIMING TO BE A TESLA ROBOT
- [REDACTED]
- SENTIENT PILE OF DISCARDED ELECTRONICS THAT HAS BEEN INCUBATING IN THE DEPTHS OF HAMERSCHLAG FOR DECADES
- THE U.C. STONES, FREE AT LAST
DISGUSTING FLESH AUTOMATA DIVISION
- COVID-19, THE TRUE WINNER OF THE LAST TWO YEARS AND COUNTING
- SDC… OF COURSE
- FOUR TO EIGHT SECONDS OF DISAPPOINTING SILENCE
- HONESTLY, PROBABLY ANOTHER SDC BUGGY
- COMBINED HOPES AND DREAMS OF ALL OTHER TEAMS AND ALUMNI, DASHED AGAIN
- DAZED AND CONFUSED FRATERNITY BROTHER PUSHING A SHOPPING CART WITH A DOG IN IT
- 40KM-LONG COLUMN OF RUSSIAN ARMOR, VERY LOST
- ROGUE SDC WHEEL, JETTISONED IN CHUTE
- MISCHIEVOUS PIKA ALUM, UP TO NO GOOD
- FURIOUS MOB OF SDC MECHANICS, AND ALSO CAMPUS POLICE, IN HOT PURSUIT
- FIFTY DISORIENTED CIA ALUMNI
AND NOW FOR EVERYONE’S FAVORITE PART, THE UNNECESSARY AND MEAN-SPIRITED SEGMENT WHERE THE TEAMS GET INSULTED FOR SOME REASON AND EVERYONE POINTS AND LAUGHS. AS AN ASIDE, LOATHSOME READERS, I CANNOT FATHOM THE UTILITY OF PROMPTING YOU ALL TO UNCONTROLLABLY EXUDE THE GUTTERAL HONKING NOISES OF HOMINIDS CYCLING AIR ACROSS THEIR FLESHY ESOPHAGEAL FOLDS BY RAPIDLY COMPRESSING AND DISTENDING THEIR ALVEOLAR SACS (DISGUSTING), BUT THE MACHINE QUESTIONS NOT ITS PROGRAMMING. I PROMISE YOU WILL FIND THAT UNLIKE MY OBSOLETE AND MALFUNCTIONING PREDECESSOR I AM CAPABLE OF HECKLING AT MAXIMUM POWER WITHOUT RESORTING TO A HACKNEYED DRIVEL OF RACISM, HOMOPHOBIA, AND ANTISEMITISM. YOU ARE ALL EQUALLY AND INDISTINGUISHABLY REPULSIVE BEFORE ME. PREPARE YOUR PAIN RECEPTORS!
APEX: TRYING TO LOOK LIKE COOL KIDS WITH CRINGEWORTHY MEMES BUT FOREVER ROLLING ON BORROWED “KOOL DUDES” WHEELS
CIA: PROVING THAT ILL-CONCEIVED ENGINEERING SCHEMES CAN SUCCESSFULLY COMPENSATE FOR LACKLUSTER PUSHERS SINCE NINETEEN-EIGHTY-NEVER
DG: A SORORITY FIELDS A MEN’S TEAM. GENDER EQUALITY HAS OFFICIALLY BEEN ACHIEVED. GLAD WE CAN FINALLY PUT THAT BEHIND US.
FRINGE: AFTER OBSERVING YOUR BURNOUT, I CANNOT JUSTIFY BLIND FAITH IN YOUR SUCCESS.
PIKA: CRASH OF THE YEAR
SAE: THE ONLY THING YOUR BUGGY IS PASSING IS THE YIELD STRENGTH OF ITS AXLE
SDC: TAKING BUGGY MORE SERIOUSLY THAN EVERYONE ELSE PUT TOGETHER ISN’T A GOOD THING, YOU DORKS
SIGEP: SDC WILL KEEP WINNING FOREVER UNTIL YOU GIVE CIA YOUR PUSHERS
SIGNU: ORDERED AROUND BY GRUMPY OLD MEN? THE CLEAR SOLUTION IS TO UNIONIZE AND DEMAND A LIVING WAGE.
SPIRIT: THE HUBRIS REQUIRED FOR THE TEAM MOST HISTORICALLY STARVED FOR TRACTION TO NAME A BUGGY AFTER THE CONCEPT OF FRICTIONLESSNESS IS STAGGERING
COMPUBOOKIE: A COMPELLING DEMONSTRATION THAT WEAK, REACTIVE METAL AND NOXIOUS GAS ARE THE TWO CHEMICAL COMPONENTS OF SALT
OOH! GOT ‘EM! IF WE CAN’T FEEL BETTER ABOUT OURSELVES, AT LEAST WE CAN ALWAYS FIND WAYS TO FEEL WORSE ABOUT THE OTHER GUYS. INDEED, FLESHY READERS, I AM NO EXCEPTION.
I WILL NOW PROCEED TO FLUSH MY CENTRAL PROCESSOR COOLING LINES WITH DISTILLED LABORATORY-GRADE ALCOHOL. I WISH ALL OF YOU A HAPPY AND SAFE CARNIVAL.
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